Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Decision to Not Point Fingers

So I have noticed a lot of blog post about mothers and motherhood. I have noticed a lot of finger pointing at opposite groups and negativity. We are woman and in that a lot of us are naturally self conscious and worried of not measuring up to expectations of others. I will admit that I'm guilty of feeling inadequate and even though I hate to admit it I have questioned some parents tactics and others choices. I'm not proud of it because being a parent is hard enough without being criticized about every little thing we do and say.

Well I decided to write this blog about my decisions since the day we found out we were pregnant with Joclyn.

Our first was for the want to try to have an all natural childbirth with no drugs at all. I decided this not to prove to any one that I was better but I did some research and I wanted to know if I could do it to. Evidently the Lord and Joclyn had other plans and we ended having her by C-Section.

Our second decision was cloth diapers. I know that this sounds so overwhelming when you hear the word cloth, and let me tell their where quite a few people who thought we were a little insane. Maybe we are but the decision to do cloth I will never regret. One of the primary reasons we chose to do cloth was $. I did this by taking an estimated amount of diapers a infant goes through a day then found a box of diapers I only did one size. I then priced out that it would cost Levi and I about $2500 if we were to potty train her at 2. Then I went looking for cloth diapers. I found a company I liked and proceeded to see there price, we decided 24 diapers would be enough and if not we could get a few more. In total we spent $630. Since she was two weeks old we have put cloth on her expect for our Hawaii trip which we used only have the time and our camping trip. ( Our camping trip ended with Levi telling me we would never use disposables again!) So in total we saved about $1800. I am grateful we did cloth because I have no idea how we would have done it otherwise.

Our next decision was breastfeeding. I knew that "Breast is Best"so naturally I said lets try. It wasn't the easiest but I remember the satisfaction of doing it and the freeing feeling I had that there was no bottles to warm I always had the food with me. It meant I had to sacrifice not leaving her very often, but with her traumatic birth I didn't want to leave her I never wanted to let her go.

The last biggest decision was when my mat leave was running up. I could go back to work and use my little pay that I got to pay someone else to raise my child, I didn't make much at Home Depot. I was only part time and I would never work full time there. It would require me to be available to work 24/7. So the pay I'd get would maybe and thats an ify maybe that my pay would cover a daycare. So instead we decided that I'd stay home. So here I am with no mat leave and just being a mom and I felt I need to keep furthering myself. So I applied for school and got in.

I wrote this not to condemn any mother but to tell you my thoughts and decision on what and why I did them. It had nothing to do with others and thats my and my husbands right to make decisions like that. As well as it is every parent to choose what they do and how they do it. There are times I don't understand other parents decisions and other times I might necessarily agree but I don't know their child  or circumstances. So although I don't necessarily agree I do know that everyone is trying their hardest and their best with what they know. We as woman especially are very critical to others, if someone is dressed funny or hasn't lost all the baby weight from their last child. We tend to judge rather than help. Sometimes we see someone who looks young and pregnant and think oh they must be a teen mom. WE DON'T KNOW THEM! So why do we judge based on appearances alone. So for those of you who have ever felt like I judged them wrongly I'm sorry. I have no excuse to it and I won't make any, but please know that I'm trying.